A Blockbuster Night

Furtherto the last post — regarding a perfect world where we could hire, fire and trade TV sports personalities — a couple of updates.

Regarding the comment that was made by another Larkins, my always contentious sister, allow my explanation:

The "Most Annoying Voice in All of TV Sports" award just happened to feature all women because, in this case, all the women mentioned are absolutely unbearable. And Bob McKenzie IS "loud." I won't argue that he's obnoxious but he doesn't have that "Sports Guy Voice" that I have long defined as "n. The unnecessary and forced fluctuating of vocal patterns.. Each of Hedger, Frolic and Dhillon have that horrendous quality.

Now, that said, I probably should have stretched the nominees into a couple of members of The Score, the network that, in its infancy, seemed to have a mandate to hire on-air talent based on them sounding more like computer-modulated sound files rather than actual human beings. So I'm looking in your direction Steve Kouleas and Tony Ambrogio.

Now, moving on. Our boy Swatter responded to my last post with a major offer. It goes like this:

We (TSN) give you: - full rights to the CFL (this does NOT include cuthbert). - every single raptors game (this DOES includes swirsky's mug). - full rights to anything/everything poker. - "off the record" with michael landsburg (the show appeals to most idiot canadian sports fans... your ratings will be huge!). - cory woron. - rod black (you'll need him for the CFL coverage). I get: - the sunday night MLB game (although you can have it for september, since we're airing sunday night football). - canadian broadcast rights to the world series. - broadcast rights to NBA all-star weekend (you've had this for years). - full rights to anything/everything fishing. - mike toth. - sean mccormick.

I reject the poker idea for two reasons. We have poker already and I'm loathe to add anymore of it. Equally unappealing to me is adding Landsberg to my team. Putting him in our lineup, when we're looking to appeal to viewers, is the equivalent of trading for Barry Bonds to boost media relations.

I reject this trade because the only thing I'm getting out of it that I wanted in the first place was Woron, and even he was a bit player. He's a Mo Peterson in a blockbuster deal.

What's more, I am giving you two of my premiere anchors in McCormick and Toth. So who fills those roles now?

So if you were to throw in Onrait, take Toth off the board, take Nick Kypreos off our hands and give us those strongman competitions, then we have some talking points.

Also, I'm willing to bring in a third party here to negotiate a three-way deal for us to land Cabbie on the Street.