Alright already

Just get off my back.

What do you think this is, some sort of recurring online gathering of my thoughts and opinions to be posted with a sort of regularity for others to read and perhaps involve themselves in so that there should be an exchange of ideas and, if necessitated, educated discourse?!

I didn't think so.

So, yeah, it's been awhile and my regularity for blogging has dropped off to almost embarassing proportions. But I will always hide behind the veil of "what else did you expect from someone as lazy as me?" And of course the answer to that is always, "yeah, he's got a point."

So let's get to addressing a number of the things that have happened since I last blogged.

• Wow, can you believe John Lennon was shot? I didn't see that coming at all.

• Wow, how about that Vince Lombardi? Just a great coach and congrats to the Green Bay Packers.

• Wow, am I the only one who took a huge hit in that stock market crash? I don't know about you, but it's really a great depression.

• Wow, good choice in Queen Victoria to be declared empress of India. Totally who I was pulling for.

• Wow, it's about time Egypt broke away from the Ottoman Empire.

• Wow, speaking of Egypt, can you believe Saladin declared himself sultan?? That's so like him.

• Wow, I didn't see this coming: I mean, Moses, leads the Jews out of slavery, unleashes the Ten Plagues against Egypt, guides the freed slaves for forty years in the wilderness, carries down the law from Mount Sinai, and prepares the Jews to enter the land of Canaan? Way to step up. Big-time players, make big-time plays. I can't believe I didn't blog on this earlier.

If I've missed anything, please feel free to let me know.

In actuality, I haven't blogged since I returned from my trip to Nebraska which might be the greatest thing a sports fan can do. Perhaps not, but a tremendous experience.

Speaking of the Big Red, for those who care, one more win (hopefully it comes this Saturday at Missouri) and the Huskers are back into a bowl game. After last year's debacle, post-season seems like a nice treat.

I'm not saying I don't trust Tommy Maddox, but I'm glad Ben Roethlisberger is back and healthy for Sunday's big game against Cincinnati.

As shocking as this may be, A&W has added another entry into the Worst Commercials of All Time list. Their latest offering has a family — father, mother, son and daughter-in-law by marriage — going to the fast-food joint and rugged, mean ol' Dad orders up "the usual" of a Papa, Mama and two teens.

"Ever since we were kids," the son says.

Well, long story short the chump kid — who apparently has just been taking Dad's lack of fatherly attention and cranky manner in good fun for lo these past 20-plus years — hands the crotchety old coot a Grandpa burger as a means of letting out the big news that he and his oblivious wife are having a kid. Mom tears up, Dad of course doesn't let his guard down and then asks "where are the onion rings?"

Just an abysmal effort from a company that has quickly become one of the true greats in advertising incompetence.

On the other side of the ledger, we have this. Arguably the greatest series of radio ads in the history of the spoken word. I can't even begin to start. Just enjoy.

Hey, who's up for a List of Five? Alright La Bamba, you got it:

The completely random barometer of what is and what isn't, it's....

THE LIST OF FIVE

5. Omar Jacobs. A QB you may never know to watch for, but should.

4. Alexander Ovechkin for NHL MVP.

3. Forget about Michigan-Iowa or Tennessee-Iowa, Texas vs Texas Tech, is the NCAA game of the week.

2. Meet the X-Factor in the World Series.

1. Honouring the wrong star of the 80s, but you gotta give the guy ... ummm ... credit? If I have to serve jail time, I believe I'll choose my own favourite athletes' jerseys to determine my time in the Clink. Y'know Charles Roberts or Cortney Grixby. Luckily I've never been a huge fan of Wayne Gretzky .

That's it for now. Be sure to tune into my next blog when I rant in the past tense about personal hoverbikes, man's first steps on Mars and mind-melding technology that fits in the palm of your hand.